Some people go camping to get far away from other human beings and to commune with nature. Men who go to gay campgrounds, however, often crave more socializing, flirting and cruising than they get in their normal lives.
Sure, there might be a quiet corner of the woods where you can pitch your tent, but especially on weekends, there are myriad activities designed to bring men together: bonfires, bingo, keggers by the pool, dances, mixers and costumed events. If you want to meet new friends and lovers, a gay campground can be the perfect place to do it.
Here is some gentle advice that will help you fit in—and maybe hook up.
Read the room. That is, read the campground’s website
Some gay campgrounds promise a highly sexualized environment for men only. Others are family-friendly and inclusive of women and allies. At others, the vibe might change from weekend to weekend. Check out the website and social media channels of your chosen destination to determine which way it leans. On the campground map, is there something called the “enchanted forest” or “play area”? Are there “bare as you dare,” jockstrap and leather events? Is the clothing-optional area humongous? Then you probably want to pack your poppers. Is the food truck featured more prominently than the dances? Do the photos feature people of all genders and ages, perhaps mostly couples? Then set your expectations accordingly.
Respect the rules and your fellow campers, especially when it comes to nudity and sexual activity
Campground owners are doing a balancing act to take into account local laws, the prying eyes of neighbours and the demand of various categories of campers. If nudity is not permitted beyond a particular sign—don’t be naked there. If sexual activity is not permitted in the view of other camping sites, in the pool or in the showers—don’t be fucking there. Most gay campgrounds aim to make you feel as free as possible; if there are limits on that freedom, the health, safety and respect for others are often the reasons why.
Don’t let your sexual tastes get in the way of making new friends
Sure, there will be guys you are more attracted to, guys you are less attracted to. There are certainly guys who treat camping much like cruising. But dedicate some time and attention to campers who aren’t your type. If you’re having an interesting conversation with someone in the pool, you don’t have to drop it the moment you see the hunk you’ve been crushing on head into the bushes. Why not pick a chaise lounge next to guys who aren’t in your age demographic or aren’t otherwise from your tribe? One of the pleasures of camping is meeting people that your everyday habits would otherwise prevent you from encountering. You might have always had a mild curiosity about, say, playing volleyball; that could become a serious interest after a chat with a volleyball fanatic you’d never click on in the apps. Allow the serendipity of the woods to work its magic.
Avoid work talk
You might encounter camping buddies who will tell you about all their passions and dreams, but purposely avoid mentioning what they do for a living. They might not even want to tell you their last name. For many campers, spending time in the woods is a way to escape from their quotidian lives and to reinvent themselves. Someone in a high-pressure job might be trying out what it feels like to be more easygoing; someone from a small town might want to let their sophisticated taste in movies be the first thing people find out about them. Grant people the freedom to create a camping self separate from their regular self. Asking “Does everybody have a busy work week ahead?” on a Sunday afternoon can make you very unpopular while poolside.
Don’t get caught up on relationship labels
Gay campers come in singles, couples and groups. Singles might turn into couples over the run of a weekend, groups may split or merge and couples who you know to be monogamous back in the city might decide that the rules of their regular life don’t apply during the summer months. Though you might recognize someone as so-and-so’s boyfriend and so-and-so’s ex, they may not define themselves that way with the group they’re camping with. Unless they’re being disrespectful to those around them, let people define their own relationships. Be in the moment without worrying about who belongs to who.
Make generosity part of your plans
Take your friend-making skills up a notch by bringing enough food to share and inviting neighbouring campers over for a meal. In situations where sharing drinks and snacks is appropriate—maybe sitting around the pool deck—don’t confine your offer to only people you know. Sharing creates a sense of community. One exception: your music during quiet hours.
Bring conversation starters
If you walk among the trailers and cabins of the seasonal campers, you’ll see flags, art, mementos, decor items, lighting and landscaping designed to spark curiosity. Hey, there’s a wooden wolf carving, a leather-Pride flag and a TV playing vintage 1970s porn outside that Airstream—maybe there’s someone inside you’d like to get to know? Even tent campers can bring lights, games, sports equipment or other items of intrigue. That’s why Halloween-in-summer camping weekends are popular—admiring someone’s wig can be the beginning of a new connection.
Don’t be shy about dropping by unannounced… within limits
At some gay campgrounds, nighttime socializing tends to be organized: there’s a dance at the barn or a blender party hosted by the seasonal campers in Section B. At others, campers often host informal gatherings around bonfires on their sites. Sometimes it’s a group of friends having their moment, while sometimes a bonfire and loud music is an invitation for others to join. Wave from the path first—is anyone waving back? Recognize anyone from your time at the pool to start a conversation with? Are your offers of more chairs and beer welcome? If the answer is yes, then this may be where you’ll be spending your evening.
Keep the cruising grounds clean and pleasant
Some gay campgrounds have designated play areas, while others might have an informal spot (or no spot at all) where guys gather for fun. The cruising area might be busy 24/7 or only late at night, when all the organized activities are over. Regardless, don’t litter. And respect your fellow cruisers. If someone rejects you, immediately put it behind you and move on; you’ll probably see the guy again and again over the weekend and your glaring will make others feel uncomfortable. Don’t let your blue balls turn you into a buzzkill, or your balls are likely to stay blue.
Take care of your fellow campers
Somebody needs help with a tent, mattress or fire—jump in and help. Because drinking can be such a big part of gay camping—and there are lots of things in the woods for a drunk person to hurt themselves on—look out for those who have overindulged and make sure they’re safe.
