Originally from a small town in North Carolina, nonbinary TikToker Shylo first visited Germany in 2018, then returned there to live in 2022, spending time in Düsseldorf before settling in Berlin where they teach English as another language to German and international students.
Their TikToks document the quirks of being an American living in Germany. Having visited an array of German destinations both well known and obscure, their observations about how certain German cities and states resemble certain American cities and states are particularly astute. “We have Bayern, which is obviously Texas. It’s the largest state. They have a funny accent. There are a couple of chill, progressive cities, but the rest of it, you probably don’t want to be there with blue hair.”
We asked Shylo what it’s like being an American in Germany, their favourite places to visit and their favourite spots to hang while in Berlin.
I’ve had North American friends who have moved to Berlin but then found themselves hanging out mostly with expats, not Germans. Have you been able to mix with Germans?
I work at a traditional German school and most of my coworkers are German. Very German. Quite German. So my friends through work are German and then my friends outside of work are very international, from everywhere from Russia to China to Türkiye to the U.S. and Canada.
What are some of the cultural challenges of being an American living in Germany?
The biggest one is that Americans are very friendly and smiley to strangers. Whereas in Berlin specifically, but in a lot of Germany, to be honest, if you’re smiling at someone you don’t know, they think you’re flirting. Or they think, “Do I have something on my face?” That takes some adjustment. At the same time, Germans will sometimes just stare. I kind of like this because I’m a curious, nosy person. But it takes getting used to, that people will just stare at you without breaking eye contact. It’s not considered rude. Americans are also quick to share their feelings and emotions. Germans take a while to warm up to people. These are broad generalizations.
Are there things that unexpectedly remind you of the U.S.?
Germans like cars, though I don’t know anyone in Berlin who actually owns a car. But the Autobahn (i.e., the highway system) is important and having a nice car is a similar priority. I was surprised that people would want a car here, with public transportation being so good. But some people really aspire to it.
What about German culture do you think makes sense that is lacking in the U.S.?
I think work-life balance is something that Germans really prioritize, not to mention the legal right to having more vacation days. It’s very common for Germans to work part-time jobs just to have more time with their families and friends. That’s not really frowned upon. I also like their hiking culture. Every Sunday, everything shuts down—that was a shock—and people like going on really long nature walks on the weekends.
You’ve toured a lot of Germany in the time you’ve been there. Is that something you planned?
Yes. So I have my series on TikTok where I compare German cities to U.S. cities. And they have this train ticket you can get for €49 a month that allows you to take any regional train in the entire country. (The price went up to €58 on January 1, 2025.) So for a while I was really taking advantage of that and trying to go to every city or small town within a reasonable distance and just checking it out with my dog. It was a very affordable thing to do. Especially because I like architecture—I’m kind of a nerd about it.
I have a few favourites that I’ve seen this year. From a cultural perspective, especially a queer cultural perspective, I really like Cologne, which is the queerest city after Berlin. If it wasn’t so far from Berlin, I would go there more often. It’s very open and welcoming. There are lots of different queer spaces to check out, though I don’t want to give free promo to any one of them.
For Dresden, the main draw is the architecture. There’s a lot of vegan food there, which was surprising. I’m not vegan, but I like vegan food. Leipzig is also quite queer, which is something you don’t expect from many cities in the East. It’s kind of like this bubble in East Germany. I know a lot of people who have moved from Berlin to Leipzig because it’s more affordable. There’s a housing crisis in Berlin, and so if someone wants to settle down, if they want more space, Leipzig is the place to go. It’s also a university town, which might make it more queer friendly. People there are more open, more progressive.
If a friend visits you in Berlin, where do you take them?
This is not on most lists of things to do while in Berlin, but I always take them to Teufelsberg, which is called Devil’s Mountain in English. It’s this huge abandoned spy tower in the middle of the largest park in Berlin, Grunewald. The Nazis started to build a college there that was bombed in the war, so they piled rubble there from the rest of the city and it became the highest point in Berlin, this little mountain where buildings used to be. Then, during the Cold War, before the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Americans built this tower and these dishes for listening and jamming communication in the East. After it was abandoned, artists took over, specifically graffiti artists. They covered it with just amazing art. You get the best views of the city from up there. It is a hike, though, maybe 25, 30 minutes.
Of course, when people come to visit, we always do the typical top-10 things: We go see the Berlin Wall, we go see the Brandenburg Gate (Potsdam). I took my cousin to the German Spy Museum (Leipziger Pl. 9, Berlin), because Berlin used to be the spy capital of the world. I wouldn’t give it that many stars, but she was happy with it.
For drinks, there’s Silverfuture (Weserstr. 206, Berlin). I think it’s the only non-gay-male queer bar in the entire city, which is really sad because it’s a huge city with so many queer people. It’s quite small but also maximalist: every inch of the walls is covered with something really cool. Disco balls, lights. They have cool events once a month, like speed dating, where there’s this train that runs along the ceiling and carries little numbers, and you can put in notes for people sitting at different tables, so you don’t have to go up and approach them. The biggest con is that that bar, like most bars in Berlin, allows smoking inside, which is very shocking to Americans.
There’s also SchwuZ (Rollbergstraße 26, Berlin), which is technically oriented toward all queers. I would say it’s more for cis gay men if there’s no theme. But they do have plenty of events catered toward different demographics. They do karaoke nights. It’s huge, with multiple rooms and multiple dance floors. I’m on testosterone, but I don’t pass and so I wouldn’t feel comfortable in spaces that are primarily for cis gay men.
Are there any places nonbinary people might gravitate toward?
You really have to seek out the options. If someone could let us know if there are such places, that would be great. I’ve met a lot of nonbinary people in Berlin through content creation.
What is it like being nonbinary in Berlin, particularly compared to the U.S.?
In the U.S., people perceive me as nonbinary regardless of where I am. I mean, I have blue hair. That’s a dead giveaway. I’m also trans masculine in Berlin. When people gender me, it’s all kinds of different ways. It’s not that nonbinary is a foreign concept to people here, but it’s a lot harder to communicate it in the German language than it is in English. So I feel like my identity exists a little differently when I’m speaking German than it does when I’m speaking English. I feel like people here are a lot more tolerant, a lot less extreme about it. In the U.S., people are either quite accepting or really hateful. Whereas I feel here people don’t necessarily care that much about it. It’s more neutral. But I live in Berlin, it’s more open minded.
When I’m travelling, I travel with my dog, which changes how I travel. Being trans also does impact travelling. I try not to travel alone in places that I know may not be as safe. Travelling for trans people is not something we take lightly. It can be extremely dangerous and you have to keep track of different things, especially around bathrooms, public changing spaces. I don’t think that can be overemphasized. They don’t have bathroom laws here like in the United States, but it’s not 100 percent safe either, especially if you’re not a passing trans person. Germans don’t have a problem calling people out about what they disapprove of. They’re not going to be quiet about it. One thing I found that really helps is just wearing giant headphones. They usually respect the headphones. Not always, but usually.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
