I’ve heard gay men over 40 complain that they feel invisible in the community. Maybe they’re just not hanging out in the right places. Major Pride festivals, for example, tend to skew pretty young.
But in many cities, mature men are the key demographic—or at the very least, a hot commodity. A sizable bear community and a leather scene are indicators of a local warmth toward older men, which is useful information even for guys who aren’t themselves bears or leathermen. Destinations that are a little more expensive can also help filter out men who are just starting out in their career, aka young pups. You’ve heard of the “gay tax”—that is, higher prices in places catering to a gay clientele. Well, be prepared for a daddy premium.
Many of these daddy destinations have nightlife that starts early and focuses more on chilling and flirting, less on dancing. But just because you’re over 40 doesn’t mean the night stops in front of the TV.
Here are 10 places for daddies seeking a playground.
Sitges, Spain
Probably one of the most popular European beach destinations for mature men, Sitges is effortlessly flirty, but also genuinely friendly. The small city, just a 30-minute train ride from Barcelona, is wonderfully walkable.
Where & When: Take some sun on the busy and clothing-optional Playa Balmins, which is just a 20-minute walk from downtown. Many a naughty night starts at Bears Bar Sitges (Carrer Bonaire 17, Sitges), where the crowd skews mature and masculine. If you like crowds of big, hairy men, Bears Week Sitges (September 5 to 14, 2025) is the perfect time to go.
Palm Springs, California
With clothing-optional resorts, mid-century sex appeal and a zero-pressure social scene, Palm Springs is daddy heaven. About a two hours’ drive from Los Angeles, and all those wannabe stars in West Hollywood, Palm Springs is an escape for those who are over youthful ambitions.
Where & When: INNdulge (601 S. Grenfall Rd., Palm Springs) is the best known of several clothing-optional resorts that cater to gay men. For those whose growing wisdom has made them more modest, Dick’s on Arenas (301 E. Arenas Rd., Palm Springs) is a piano bar where it’s fine to keep your shirt on. Both the International Bear Convergence (February 19 to 23, 2026) and Leather Pride (October 30 to November 2, 2025) attract older men from across the U.S. and around the world.
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
PV is where daddies go to sweat, sip mezcal and remind everyone how good they look in Speedos or a mumu. Even at its sceney-est, PV is as easygoing as visitors want it to be, including afternoon siestas.
Where & When: The heart of it all is Zona Romántica, particularly Mantamar Beach Club (Malecón 169, Zona Romántica, Puerto Vallarta), which can be a party even when it’s not hosting an event, and the famous Blue Chairs on the beach. The best time to go, for those who like crowds, is during the coldest months in the U.S. and Canada. Bearmex (January 28 to February 1, 2026) and BeefDip (January 25 to February 1, 2026) capitalize on this trend.
Berlin, Germany
Berliners don’t blink at age, kink or nudity—and that’s just brunch. This is a city that doesn’t care how old you are, as long as you show up. Be bold, but also follow the rules. Smoking on subway platforms, yes. Clubbing until 8 a.m., yes. Crossing against the lights, nein. An outfit that doesn’t reflect the theme night at the sex club Lab.oratory (Am Wriezener bhf, Berlin), double nein.
Where & When: Prinzknecht (Fuggerstraße 33, Berlin) opens every day at 3 p.m. making it a great starting point for a night out—or a night out in and of itself. Many of the bars along Fuggerstraße are men-only. Picking the right one is not just a matter of which one is for older guys, but what kind of older guy you think you are. If you’re particularly wild, Folsom Europe (August 27 to 31, 2025) will bring you into contact with likeminded guys.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
More relaxed than Miami, more fun than retirement, Fort Lauderdale has quietly become one of the sexiest spots in America for daddies in tank tops and short shorts. Even in an intensely car-focused culture, it’s an easy place to get around.
Where & When: The area’s nightlife is actually in the small city of Wilton Manors, which is just north of the city of Fort Lauderdale. They’ve got an Eagle (2209 Wilton Dr., Wilton Manors), but Hunters Nightclub (2232-2238 Wilton Dr., Wilton Manors) is a uniquely Floridian venue with a handsome staff of all ages.
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Everything about the Argentine capital says “grown and sexy”—from late-night tango salons to making smouldering eye contact in the parks. The men here dress up, and are not opposed to a little drama with their drink.
Where & When: First opened in 1984, after the return of democracy to Argentina, the bar Contramano (Rodríguez Peña 1082, Buenos Aires) might just be as old as you are. Though the crowd is generally older, there are usually a few twinks to chase/roll one’s eyes at. Remember that the seasons are the opposite of those in the Northern Hemisphere. December to March is the best time to feel the heat.
Cologne, Germany
Not as big, sprawling and gritty as Berlin, but just as butch. And its history of being relaxed about queerness is as long and venerable as Berlin’s—by German standards, the locals are considered friendly and approachable. The gay scene is so large it encompasses two districts.
Where & When: Pullermanns (Mathiasstraße 22, Köln) is probably the most famous and busiest cruising bar, but we love The 3B (Mühlenbach 53, Köln): Bearded Bear Bar. Speaking of bears, Bear Pride Cologne (November 19 to 23, 2025) is where visitors can take in the Mr. Bear Germany contest.
Bangkok, Thailand
Bangkok is intense, sensual and unpredictable. It’s a city where older men are often admired, especially if they bring good manners and a bit of swagger. Affordable massages—some serious, some more sensual—can be found in all parts of the city, which is good news for men who need some tender loving care for their tired bones.
Where & When: The Balcony Pub (84-88 Silom Soi 4, Bang Rak, Bangkok) is a cross-generational hangout where visitors can get their evening started. Chakran Sauna (First floor, Chakran Building, 32 Soi Ari 4, Phaya Thai, Bangkok) is a classy bathhouse that’s as comfortable for chatting as for cruising. For daddies who want to party hard with their shirts off, White Party Bangkok (December 27 to 31, 2025)) is one of the biggest gay parties in Asia.
Nice, France
Nice isn’t trying to be hip—it knows it’s got what it takes. With its soft Mediterranean air and unapologetic older crowd, this Riviera gem is perfect for a daddy who enjoys croissants, cruising and caftans.
Where & When: Spend the day at Coco Beach, about an hour’s walk or a 15-minute drive from the city centre, for a laid-back, local vibe with just enough flirtation. At Le Glam (6 Rue Eugène Emanuel, Nice), the city’s main gay bar, the older set doesn’t sit on the sidelines. Nice’s Lou Carnaval (February/March 2026, exact dates TBA) is one of the most culturally rooted LGBTQ+ festivals in the world.
Auckland, New Zealand
Low-key but loaded with charm, Auckland is where outdoorsy daddies go to hike by day and smoulder over craft beer at night. It’s safe, stylish and deeply chill, though with all the cultural amenities you’d expect from New Zealand’s biggest city.
Where & When: Yes, they have an Eagle Bar (259 Karangahape Rd., Auckland Central, Auckland) Down Under, though admittedly it’s one that sometimes hosts drag shows. The flight to Aotearoa is long for North Americans and Europeans, but lucky for us, Big Gay Out, a queer arts and cultural festival that’s more relaxed than Pride, and Bear New Zealand Week both take place around the same time (usually February; 2026 dates TBA).
