While Carlyle Jansen was heading through airport security, a screener wanted to open her luggage and take a closer look.
“As they were going through the bag, I could see one agent mouthing to another, ‘It’s a vibrator,’” says the sex therapist and co-founder of Good for Her, a female-friendly online sexuality store based in her hometown of Toronto.
On another occasion, this time at a hotel, Jansen’s partner had laid out a bunch of toys on the bed in their room, as a surprise for when they returned later that evening.
“It was going to be super exciting, but they didn’t realize this hotel had turn-down service. [When we returned], all the toys were still on the bed, but the covers were turned down and there were chocolates on the pillow.”
Looking back, Jansen said she found the whole episode pretty funny but felt bad for the room attendant. “For them it was kind of non-consensual—they had just walked in and were seeing all these things, so that was the part that bothered me the most. My partner was mortified,” she says. “With that airport incident, I was mildly amused. It didn’t bother me, but I could see how it might have bothered a lot of other people.”
If you plan to take sex toys and other sexual accoutrements like poppers and lube with you on your next vacation, there are a few things you should consider before you start packing them with your sunscreen and sunglasses. Begin by asking yourself what you are going to need during your trip.
“You want to bring things that you will like,” says Jansen. “Are you going with your partner, or are you going to be hooking up with people when you are there? Are you going to be having sex on your own? What are the things most suitable for that? For people with clits and vaginas, a vibrator may be necessary to have an orgasm. A person with a penis might need a cock ring.”
Next, consider what happens if your bag is lost or stolen. You might not want to bring things you’d be upset about parting with. “What do you do if your bags get sent to South Korea instead of Mexico? It is pretty easy to replace sunscreen while on vacation, but will you want to find a new sex toy?”
Travellers might also want to bring safer sex supplies, such as dental dams, which can be hard to find at some destinations, and a preferred brand of condoms. Also check out what material your sex toys are made from.
“Metal toys, if you place them in your carry-on, can be flagged by security,” she says. “They can also be heavy. I had one metal toy I was going to take with me last time, and I thought, ‘Oh god, I am not going to fit a lot else in the bag with that in there.’”
While there are cleaners for sex toys, Jansen said good old soap and water should be enough to clean them while on the road. Non-electric silicone items, like butt plugs and dildos, can be cleaned with boiling water.
Jansen suggests packing toys in clear plastic bags, so security can see them without having to touch. She also recommends taking the batteries out of toys or, if they’re rechargeable, activating the safety lock on them so nothing starts by accident.
“I have heard stories of security wondering if something is a bomb or dangerous, and then you end up with a whole other rigmarole, especially if it is in your checked luggage,” says Jansen.
That is exactly what happened to a friend of Stefan Arestis who, along with his partner, Sebastien Chaneac, runs the gay travel website Nomadic Boys.
“A very good friend of ours who shall remain nameless almost shut down the Berlin airport,” says Arestis. Their friend was headed to the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco and had taken a large vibrator with him. “Unfortunately, he forgot to remove the batteries, and when he was going through security at the airport, it went off, causing a great deal of drama among the security staff. They thought it was a weapon. When he showed us a photo of it after, we could totally see why. It was massive. After closer inspection, the security staff were appeased, and they laughed it off, much to our friend’s embarrassment.”
The Nomadic Boys, who are based in Cyprus, where Arestis is originally from, have written extensively about their travels to more than 100 countries including advice on travelling with sex toys. Their first suggestion? Do your research.
And that doesn’t mean simply airport security policies. LGBTQ2S+ travellers also have to be concerned about being outed by what they pack. While a dildo or cock ring might be fine from a security perspective, there might be implications for you if a border guard deduces from the item or items that you’re queer or trans.
“Is it legal to be gay in that destination? Even if it is, how safe is it really for gay people?” asks Arestis.
It’s not only toys that can inadvertently out travellers. Certain medications—like PrEP, HIV treatment or hormones—might trigger questions about your identity. Some countries can refuse entry to travellers with HIV and, even if they allow an HIV-positive person to enter, can deport them based on their HIV status. Government websites and resources like HIVtravel.org and AIDSmap.com are the best way to research country-specific restrictions.
The discovery of some items by border guards might, at worst, cause embarrassment. But certain BDSM-related items, such as paddles or restraints, might be construed as weapons by overzealous officers.
“There comes a point where you just need to exercise your common sense. If it looks like a weapon, then it’s very likely to cause issues at the airport and may be better left at home,” Arestis says.
Poppers, aka amyl nitrite, usually come in bottles small enough to meet the size requirements for liquid containers. But that doesn’t mean you should be carrying them in a bag with your mini tube of toothpaste and your mini bottle of shampoo. Because they are solvents (nitrites), they’re considered flammable and are not permitted on airplanes—not in carry-on luggage nor in checked luggage. As well, they might not be legal in the country you’re visiting and can be confiscated. Even in places like the United Kingdom, where poppers can be legally sold and used recreationally, they can’t be taken on airplanes.
“If you do try to take them, certainly don’t take them in your carry-on, it’s likely to get confiscated,” Arestis says.
Many government websites, like the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority and the U.S. Transportation Security Administration, include sections where you can search the rules on what you can and can’t bring into that country and whether it can packed in your carry-on or checked luggage.
Arestis prefers to pack most of his sexy items in his checked luggage. After removing the batteries, he’ll stuff vibrating toys into empty shoes for safekeeping and wrap leather harnesses in a towel or soft clothing to prevent damage. He keeps lube with toiletries, making sure it meets airport weight and size requirements for liquids (usually a maximum of 100 ml per container).
“Another handy tip is to ask the check-in staff at the airport to put a ‘fragile’ sticker on your suitcase. Just say you have delicate presents inside, no need to elaborate,” says Arestis.
One essential “to do” of modern packing is to make sure you have all your chargers. Jansen suggests checking the electrical specifications of the country you are visiting to see if their voltage is safe to use with your plug-in toy. Toys with USB-type chargers can be charged pretty much anywhere.
For those who are shy about travelling with their adult toys, Jansen says there are products available that are not penis or vulva shaped. “It is not quite as obvious as when things look realistic, so it is more like, ‘Oh, it looks like a back massager,’ or ‘It looks like a lipstick stick,’” she says.
In these more open-minded times, in most of the world, Jansen suspects that travelling with sex toys has become much more common.
“More people are comfortable packing their sex toys than they used to be. They’re just, ‘Hey, if they see my sex toys, they see my sex toys. I am just a sexual person,’” she says. “And I think airport security is more used to seeing them on the X-ray machine and not feeling like they have to open the bag.”
