Perhaps you’ve always wanted to wear a kilt. Perhaps you love the way RuPaul says “Lawrence Chaney.” Perhaps you just binged Outlander. Whatever your reasons for visiting Scotland, you’re in luck: There’s plenty of queer action to be found north of Hadrian’s Wall.
Scotland has always harboured a thirst to set itself apart from England, to do its own thing. Fierce romanticism is strong among the Scots, who wear their hearts on their sleeves and have a knack for finding magic in everyday life. It isn’t uncommon to hear a Scotsman wax poetic about the grey skies of Edinburgh even as he curses the day’s rain using an array of creative insults. (There are over 100 words for “rain” in Scotland.)
Don’t let that weather scare you off, though. A shower or two can complement the windswept landscapes and castles. From the far-flung cliffs of the Orkney islands to the legendary Loch Ness to the iconic citadel of Edinburgh Castle, Scotland possesses majesty to spare even on the rainiest days. Plus, a grey sky is a lovely backdrop for the ginger waves and icy blue eyes of your bonny Scottish fling. Or perhaps they have black hair and brown eyes—Scotland’s bigger cities, Glasgow and Edinburgh, with metro populations of 1.7 million and 900,000 respectively, are quite diverse, as well as queer friendly.
That said, there have been isolated cases of gay-bashing in both cities; the boisterous drinking culture, usually entertaining, can turn ugly when there are too many straight young guys in one place. As a whole, Scotland is considered one of Europe’s most queer-friendly countries, and same-sex marriage has been legal since 2014.
Go for a wee bender in Glasgow
There’s a lot of endemic vocabulary in Scotland: “blether” for “chatter,” “drookit” for “very wet,” “blootered” for “very drunk.” One phrase you’ll often hear is “bonny lad,” preferably from a bonny lad or lassie who fancies you.
There’s no better place to scout out bonny sorts than Glasgow, a formerly industrial city nestled in the country’s southern half. Whether you’re marvelling at the city’s Gothic architecture during the Pride celebrations (July 20, 2024) or during the Queer International Film Festival (October 8 to 12, 2024), you’ll find lots of inclusive LGBTQ+ bars and clubs in the city centre.
AXM (90 Glassford St., Glasgow) attracts a young, fun crowd for dancing and drag. The Polo Lounge (84 Wilson St., Glasgow), with four rooms on two floors, is probably the biggest club. Delmonica’s (68 Virginia St., Glasgow), founded in 1991, has a wide variety of theme nights and shows. Katie’s Bar & Kitchen (17 John St, Glasgow) is a catacomb-like basement space with cabaret shows and dancing. The latter two are especially welcoming to folks of all stripes of the acronym.
Men who are into men can hang out at The Pipeworks Men’s Health Spa (Metropole House, 5 Metropole Ln., Glasgow), Scotland’s biggest gay sauna.
When you’ve recovered from your pints, head for a designer shopping spree along Ingram Street in the city centre, or visit the haunting pathways of the Glasgow Necropolis (Castle St., Glasgow), a massive cemetery where you can learn a lot about the city’s history. The stately Kelvingrove Art Gallery (Argyle St., Glasgow) is home to some famous artworks, while Loch Lomond serves up natural splendour just an hour away from Glasgow by bus.
Summon your inner writer in Edinburgh
Glaswegians will talk up their rivalry with Edinburgh, Scotland’s capital, whenever they get the chance. But don’t listen to their harmless insults. Located just an hour’s car ride from Glasgow, Edinburgh is a culturally rich city with fascinating museums and lively queer pubs. Old Town’s sandstone buildings make it postcard pretty.
The first thing you may notice is Auld Reekie’s (“Old Smokey”) towering appreciation for writers: One of its tallest, most intricate, most show-stopping Victorian structures, located on Princess Street at the bottom of South St. David Street, is dedicated to Sir Walter Scott, writer of Ivanhoe. There’s also The Writers’ Museum (Lawnmarket, Lady Stair’s Cl., Edinburgh) for anyone looking to deepen their literary nerd-dom even further. Meanwhile, the vast National Museum of Scotland (Chambers St., Edinburgh) honours both literature and science—its crown jewel is the famously cloned Dolly the Sheep. The museum’s LGBTQIA+ Hidden Histories Trail is a resource that helps visitors find queer content throughout the collections.
Of course, a trip to Edinburgh is incomplete without a stroll down the Royal Mile that links Edinburgh Castle with the Holyroodhouse palace. (That’s not a typo.) Afterwards, you’ll be tired from all that souvenir shopping and wool cardigan buying, so you’ll want to sample Edinburgh’s renowned culinary scene. Edinburgh is the best place for black pudding (aka blood sausage), fish and chips, shortbread, deep-fried Mars bars and haggis (aka seasoned sheep entrails boiled in a bag, which is better than it sounds).
At night, you’ll want to hit the constellation of queer spots in what is called the Pink Triangle. The area has been a gay destination since the 1980s and is located at the top of Leith Walk, just off Princess Street. CC Blooms (23-24 Greenside Pl., Edinburgh) is one of the city’s longest-running gay venues, with shows in its upstairs pub space and a basement made for dancing and cabaret. Planet Bar & Kitchen (6 Baxter’s Pl., Edinburgh) has been around just as long, offering a cozy space and drag shows on weekends.
Steamworks Sauna Edinburgh (5 Broughton Market, Edinburgh) is a men-only health club with lockers and rooms for rent, and themes like Naked Day and Buddy Day.
Feeling ‘Brave’? Take a road trip into the country
If you’re willing to face the occasionally treacherous roads of Scotland, you’ll have a better time exploring the country’s many archaeological and cultural wonders in the north. Whether you take a ferry to the expansive, wind-lashed fields of the Orkney and Shetland islands off the northern coast or settle for a self-led tour of the velvety green northern Highlands, you’ll be glad you took time to poke around the backcountry.
If you’d like a homebase for your Highland hooplah, consider staying in the city of Inverness, where villas like the Victorian-styled Tanera Bed & Breakfast (8 Fairfield Rd., Inverness) accommodate all couples and singles. If you visit the city during Highland Pride (usually in July—check the website for the exact 2024 date), you’ll certainly meet lads and lassies at mainstream hangouts like the bustling, tartan-laden Hootananny (67 Church St., Inverness), where traditional Scottish folk music reigns supreme.
But why would you want to spend all your time in Inverness when Loch Ness, ancient stone circles and the reindeer-covered Cairngorm Mountains are within driving distance?
Off the west coast, there’s Isle of Skye (which is attached to the mainland by bridge) where legendary kelpies—mythical water horses of lore—are said to dwell alongside faeries. While you may not spot a faerie of the mythical kind on this trip, you’ll certainly encounter dinosaur footprints at An Corran Beach (about a 30-minute drive from Portree), or a photo op at the Old Man of Storr rock formation (15 minutes north of Portree).
The Orkney islands, accessible by a one-hour ferry from Gills Bay, shelter Skara Brae (Sandwick, Stromness), one of the best-preserved Neolithic villages in the world. To explore the archipelago, you might want to set up camp at Ayre Hotel (Ayre Rd., Kirkwall), where TV personality and author Graham Norton is known to enjoy cocktails. From here you can also get to the Standing Stones of Stenness (Stromness), whose staggering grandeur will leave you awestruck.
Wherever you end up, just make sure to learn some Scots words for rain, such as spindrift, smirr and goselet. You may find yourself in a kilt one day shaking your fist at the heavens, trying to think of how to say, “Curse this feckin’ smirr.”
