Everyone dreams of capturing that “perfect vacation” picture for their social media feed. Perhaps it’s taken from a hotel balcony, or the glistening edge of an infinity pool. Perhaps it features a handsome, unshaved companion, his beige linen shirt left tantalizingly unbuttoned. It conveys serenity, adventure and an escape from the ordinary. It almost always features a cocktail.
For some queer travellers, however, the picture only feels complete without that drink.
“I think one of the biggest benefits of travelling sober is that I feel like I’m really experiencing everything and I remember everything,” says Ashley Hall, an avid traveller who represents non-alcoholic drink brands on TikTok. “I don’t know that I could count how many vacations I’ve gone on where at some point, the night is just kind of blurred out. To wake up in a beautiful place and not be hungover is just such a gift.”
Hall is one of many LGBTQ2S+ people who’ve joined the growing trend of sober travel. Over the last few years, the movement has become popular with not just those in recovery but also millennials and Gen Z folks practising self-care. Even people travelling on a tight budget may want to save money by eliminating alcohol from their list of expenses.
For whatever reason someone is avoiding alcohol, they will find that more sober queer spaces are popping up around the world. These days, social groups like London’s Proud and Sober provide counterprogramming for the boozy itineraries that dominate most queer calendars. And while most non-alcoholic bars are tragically straight, they’re also pretty cool. Club Soda (39 Drury Lane, London) in the U.K., NoLo (Dusit Thani Dubai, 24th floor, 133 Sheikh Zayed Rd., Dubai) in the United Arab Emirates and Sans Bar (918 Congress Ave., Austin) in Texas have all attracted worldwide attention.
That doesn’t mean that travelling sober is a cakewalk. So much of LGBTQ2S+ life is built around bars, nightclubs and parties. For queer people just beginning their sobriety journey, travelling can create an overwhelming pressure to swim with the current and drown themselves in booze, especially if they’re nervous about meeting new people. Far away from their peers and routine activities, they may have a hole in their daily schedule that can be filled by going to bars and clubs.
“It can be hard in social spaces when travelling, because most evening activity centres around alcohol,” says Scott Pearson, founder of Proud and Sober. “As I am nearly six years sober, this doesn’t bother me as much anymore, but in the early days it felt isolating.”
Hall experienced a similar sensation during her first trip to Europe, which occurred early in her sobriety. “I had these romanticized ideas of sipping wine in Paris, doing shots in Amsterdam and going to Oktoberfest in Germany. I felt like I was being denied some rite of passage by going to Europe for the first time sober,” she says.
On top of this, Hall was travelling with loved ones who did drink; when they opened their first celebratory bottle of champagne in Paris, she had to take herself on a walk. “I googled the closest convenience store, found some Heineken 0.0, and grabbed a six pack and drank one on the streets of Paris.” After that, she felt like she could handle any challenge that came her way.
Of course, not every LGBTQ2S+ person loves bars, clubs and parties, or makes them a priority when they travel. Finding substitute activities for drinking can be half of the fun of travelling sober. Sober queer travellers often discover new adrenaline-spiking hobbies that simulate the natural high they would otherwise get from substances—it can be the trigger to try out ziplining, whitewater rafting or rock climbing. More libidinally speaking, those alternative activities can help travellers meet like-minded hotties.
“I think it’s common to say that if you don’t go clubbing, then you won’t be able to meet anyone. The truth is, I don’t think that’s the case,” says Juan Camilo Velez, a Colombia-based content creator. “I think a person can travel and still enjoy restaurants, museums, walks through a city, nature visits, rivers, waterfalls. There are many places where you can meet a lot of different types of people, not just people from the party scene.”
More bars and clubs are including appealling non-alcoholic options in their menus. “I’d actually say that most destinations are sober-friendly now,” says Pearson. “I was even in Brazil this year, and their range of sober-option drinks was impressive.” Even when there’s not an obvious place for sober socializing, organizations like New York-based Gay & Sober have begun hosting programming around the globe. For instance, Gay & Sober’s 2024 social calendar features parties and conferences in Fire Island Pines, Amsterdam and even Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (Dolly Parton would approve).
If it’s less about avoidance and more about handling addiction, there are now 123,000 A.A. groups in approximately 180 countries around the world. With the organization’s Meeting Guide app, it’s possible to find an A.A. meeting in many destinations (though they may not always be in English). Zoom meetings have also risen in popularity, with sobriety counsellors making themselves accessible on social apps like TikTok. The latter option can be useful for recovering queers who don’t vibe with A.A.’s “higher power” approach to sobriety.
There can be times when drinking culture is very much in your face, so it’s important to set limits and know what you need to do to stay true to your goal. “My number one tip for anyone is to always have an exit plan, and have your own room to go back to,” says Pearson. “Knowing you have ultimate control over your experience is incredibly important to keep you feeling safe if things get to be too much.”
Hall also recommends ordering a mocktail. Having a legit-looking mocktail prevents her from feeling like an ugly duckling in social settings. In every new bar or restaurant she visits, whether in Paris or in her hometown of Virginia Beach, Virgina, she checks the menu to see if they have alcohol-free beer or spirit options. She has one drink she’ll ask for as a sort-of test. “If they can make a Moscow Mule, then they have ginger beer. And my go-to everywhere is a ginger beer with lime in a rocks glass,” she says.
But what about the “perfect vacation” photo? That’s the great thing about social media. In photos, nobody can tell that your poolside tipple is a mocktail. Grab a Fauxjito and watch the likes rake in, sis!
